DREAMS

I sit in a dark space, just one of those places where every item becomes one, and nothing else matters, as the present moment provides a neutrality and an emptiness. I walk around for a while, not knowing how many steps I have taken or where the journey will lead me. I hear the birds chirping, and this has me perplexed, I wonder how they are able to find their way in this void. I hear my voice call out loud, and my response in an unending echo, that does not sound like me. I feel pressed, I think my breath is losing and leaving me. I hear the sound of drums, a very slow rhythm, sad, and unending.

You are you,

In a single place,

You row and you sail,

You cry and you break

And in your immortality

You will live forever,

Just watch yourself go.

I see rings now, they come in different sizes, with a soft glow around them, so that they illuminate the dark, but just for themselves. They obviously want to be the one thing seen, and very selfishly they float around, evading my grip when I reach out, so that I feel in the dark all over again. I take very frantic steps, groping around, restless at the absence of everything that should be seen. My legs are moving fast now, I try to stop them, but I see that they have made the choice themselves, and I struggle to keep up, so that I am pulled out of my skin several times, and have to watch my flesh leave me. I am panting now, fatigued, not certain I can keep up with all of it. I think that I should let it all go, and maybe I could become a glowing ring, but I am scared that I would melt into the dark, so I keep running with myself.

The things you feel,

Sing songs to you,

They know, they know,

All of you,

They are dancing by your hips,

And scratching at your lips,

But the words are never told.

I hear the sound of thunder rumbling, my gaze goes up to find a bright light dropping from the sky, when it draws closer I see that it has flattened into a door, it lands with a thud, smoke gushes from beneath it, and it stays tilted, so that all that is inside of it, lies in awkward angles. I run in, to see faces that I know, unmoving, just staring through me, nobody acknowledges my presence. I try to call out, but now I am without a voice, I do not hear myself. I see grasses that look rather familiar, green, in littered strands, swaying in different directions. For the first time, I feel at peace with myself, and accept that I have no control. I try to take steps forward, but with every new step, another door opens up, so that I am faced with a cascade of doors, that only lead to themselves all over again. There is no direction, no destination, nowhere to go from this.

Rain comes surely

Settling on your skin,

When it comes you will know,

Drowning from this very need,

So that pleasure and pain,

All feel the same.

Then it all goes dark once more, and I see that the darkness is in shades. I am getting familiar with the void now, seeing a difference, almost like I can separate it into little parts. I feel my legs drop to the ground, and I then the tears run down my face, when it cuts towards my lips, it does not taste salty, I taste nothing. I wonder where life is, I see them in my head, all the moments that have stood out to me, everything comes in flashes, seeing all the pictures from different points in my life all at once and understanding them as well.

Carry this weight,

Do not falter from your seed,

It is sprouting within

Carry this burden,

And everything you have left below,

In a place nobody knows.

“wake up, wake up, wake up”

I hear a voice, and it runs through my skin like a touch, and when I turn towards it, I see it now, it takes the form of searching hands, running through me, and it feels satisfying. I reach out to it, running my lips around its neck, down to soft nipples that harden at the feel of my lips. I take my tongue lower, and I hold it so close. I let it call out again and again. This is all I have in this void; I think I hear it moan as it beckons to me. The darkness is soothing now, I think that I am in a good place, I do not want not leave anymore, and everything else takes a smaller form, suppressed by the soothing sound that sweeps through the dark.

My eyes close to part ways

I do not see,

My hands fold in this split,

Wanting nothing but you,

And then,

All things come true.

The voice takes a form now, slender, and carefully carved, I see clearly now. She is dancing and swaying from left to right, and giving me penetrating stares, so that I have nowhere else to look, she takes all my attention. I laugh out loud, there is so much light everywhere.

“Good morning, you kept talking and touching me all over, while you slept”

She says this and I laugh hysterically. It does not end.

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