As I Know It

There is a beginning, the start of a journey, opening up as unconscious as it can be, and all that is experienced at that time happens away from us, we are part of it, but hardly comprehending. I do not remember the start of my life, I see it in pictures, buried in rolls and pages of albums. I see my smiling face, and in some of those pictures, I have tears rolling down my eyes. Sometimes I wonder, if the drifting emotions, was me dealing with this new complexity and discovery, coming into something all of a sudden, being so new in all of the reality.

I believe we begin with this unawareness, so that we find ourselves within the experiences, before the questions, and can have pure tastes of things that are not so available as time and age go through. I can almost smell the scent of happiness in my toddler nose, or the sheer joy from all the simple things, the ones that now go unnoticed. My little feet moving with fervour and intent, picking things, breaking, laughing hard, crying harder. The memories I have with me from that time, remain fresh and undiluted, I do not have it mixed with complex situations or predicaments, just me experiencing and feeling.

The freedom of a dream in those days, was as wild as tropical forests, with room to change and switch as I wanted. One time I was flying planes, and fighting in a war, the other time I was conducting a heart operation on this man, with the nurses standing all around me, while I held life in my hands. Congestions did not exist, not so much was expected, very little was required. I believe all of that was to give us a taste of how life should be, so that when we lose it, we aspire to revert, to draw back to those pure moments, and so the start of life itself was a lesson, we were all a part of it, we just did not see it at that time.

The freedom of a dream in those days, was as wild as tropical forests

I see life as a swinging pendulum, swaying while our hearts beat, demanding gradually at first, and as time meets with us, the swinging gets faster, with no space between. For a fact, its something we are all new to, I agree, that certain people are able to communicate their experiences better, they draw lessons from others, they narrate a lot about what they think, and always look assured. Yet, the entirety of life is a first person experience, changing itself into various forms, and textures, molding each one of us, into different shapes, in all the points and places we find ourselves.

When I have conversations with people, I see a lot of surface exchanges, nobody tries to delve deep anymore, because within those walls and rubbles, are several lost bits and pieces, broken dreams, emotional breaks and the one truth that we never let out; our shared fragility. We are all learning and unlearning, while there is an obvious inequality through the paths we thread, the knowledge we gain, and pain we endure, we still meet at several common grounds, but we make it our journey, to thread alone, that is how we assume these things should be dealt with, so we broaden our joys and cover up the pain.

Life to me is a canvas, a plain surface, for us to stroke with our brushes, while time ticks. The dilemma is we feel the best images and drawings have to go up, its called the will of expectation, the ones that stereotype us, and make the entirety of existing as rigid as it can be, so we make that mistake over, and over again. Our lives are lived for others, our dreams are carved for an audience, so falling and failing feels colossal, and letting pain escape becomes abominable.

Life to me is a canvas, a plain surface, for us to stroke with our brushes, while time ticks. The dilemma is we feel the best images and drawings have to go up, its called the will of expectation, the ones that stereotype us, and make the entirety of existing as rigid as it can be, so we make that mistake over, and over again. Our lives are lived for others, our dreams are carved for an audience, so falling and failing feels colossal, and letting pain escape becomes abominable.

Another truth is that life is subject to time, we will be toddlers, and then we will feel the strength of youth, the pace of adulthood, and then the aging at the end of the climax, this is a general constant, and could be the hardest to accept, we will all grow old, so long as we are within the bubble of life. There are several fixed confusions, a lot of uncertainties that manifest themselves at different points, and this should be transformed to a search, a thirst to discover, to find life through your own eyes, and within your sincere expectations. We live it best with the help of true friendship, and the hard shock of love, and lastly the strength and bond of family.

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